If they want to fight, all right : (but "neutral" is my middle name) / by Jack Frost & James White

VERSE 01: I heard the newsboys crying latest war news of the day,/I saw the people buying and the crowds begin to sway;/But what seemed to me so funny in that big crowd that I spied,/Were English, French, and German there, all standing side by side./The German said, "Zwei tausend uf em Enklish kiltdot's fine."/The English said, "I heah they've pawned the watch upon the Rhine;"/And little old yours truly of the good old U.S.A./Said "It's a sad, sad story, but here's all I've got to say:"CHORUS 01: If they want to fight, all right, all right,/I'm over here, they're over there, so I don't care;/Over here in America, I heard somebody say/That he who fights and runs away will live to fight some other day./For I'm here and they're there, so what do I care,/Because it's "Home, Sweet Home" just the same./While I'm as happy as can be behind the statue of liberty,/For "neutral" is my middle name.VERSE 02: Said Mike McDever, "Did you ever hear the likes o' these?/They say the Frenchmen shot the holes we see in Sweitzer cheese."/Then said someone to McDever there, "Say Mike, why do you frown?"/Said he, "Because old Pilsner beer goes up instead of down,/The army with the longest legs is what I'm betting on,/For when it comes to battle they can do some Marathon;/And I'll believe most anything that anybody tells/But that the Frenchmen saw the 'English' on the German shells."CHORUS 02: If they want to fight, all right, all right,/I'm over here, they're over there, so I don't care;/Over here in America, I heard somebody say/That he who fights and runs away will live to fight some other day./For I'm here and they're there, so what do I care,/Because it's "Home, Sweet Home" just the same./The enemy can do their worst, But I believe in safety first,/For "neutral" is my middle name.